For the Plot lV

April is that month where you’re suddenly hot again, fully booked, emotionally unstable, and pretending you didn’t cry through the winter. The sun is out, the allergies are flaring, and the need to make questionable choices is louder than ever.

So here’s your spring chaos checklist. No notes. Just plot.

1. Lock In for That Summer Body (Mentally, at Least)

We’re not talking punishment workouts—we’re talking main stage energy. Move your body like it deserves the spotlight, not because you hate it. Stretch, sweat, slay.

For the Plot: Buy the outfit that shows everything. Now you have to become the person who wears it.

2. DM the Person You’ve Been Lowkey Obsessing Over

Just a “hey :)” and see what happens. It’s April. People are softer in spring.

For the Plot: Risk rejection. It builds character and sometimes relationships.

3. Drastically Change Your Hair

Chop it, dye it, braid it, buzz it. You are no longer that winter version of yourself.

For the Plot: If you don’t cry in the salon chair at least once, did it even count?

4. Disappear for a Weekend With No Explanation

Vanishing without telling anyone builds legend status. Silence is seductive.

For the Plot: Return glowing, post cryptic captions, ignore questions.

5. Commit to a New Hobby Like It’s Your Personality Now

Join a salsa class. Start roller skating. Take up archery. Lie about being nationally ranked.

For the Plot: Build delusion like it’s a house you live in.

6. Book a Photoshoot Just Because You Feel Hot

No occasion needed. Get in front of a camera and act like the paparazzi are late.

For the Plot: Make it your contact photo in everyone’s phone.

7. Go to a Psychic and Take It Way Too Seriously

Ask about your love life. Your career. Your past lives. Take detailed notes. Then spiral.

For the Plot: Make at least one life decision based on what they said.

8. Sing at Karaoke Like You’ve Trained for This Your Whole Life

It’s not about the notes. It’s about the conviction.

For the Plot: Pick a breakup song even if you’re in a happy relationship.

9. Text Your Ex Just to See What’s There (Then Block Again)

It’s like emotional exfoliation.

For the Plot: Write a poem after. Dramatic? Yes. Necessary? Also yes.

10. Say Yes to the Invite You’d Usually Decline

Brunch, hike, picnic, backyard jam session—go. You’re not too tired, you’re just not committed to the drama yet.

For the Plot: End the day with a story you can’t post about.

Final Thought:

April is about messy rebirth. You don’t need to have it all figured out—you just need to be down for a little chaos. New season, new energy, same you… but hotter.